The Final Countdown

Well deadline day is finally here. Thankfully the book I ordered came at last, despite being returned to Amazon because they couldn’t get access to my flat or mailbox. And after many, many hours of laborious backing up of files and re-formatting my computers hard drive, I eventually got the server software to work

However, in the past four to five weeks  I really haven’t made much progress at all, and have left myself with something like 10 days to learn a skill that I was given three months and 150 hours to learn.

The stress I felt was unbelievable, I really found it difficult to concentrate on anything. and seemed to have headache after headache, and even started to feel quite dizzy and ill.

I had come into college a couple of extra days and thankfully got the bulk of the coding and leg work out of the way, but to learn the PHP I found I needed absolute concentration which I couldn’t achieve in the classroom because of the noise and interruptions. Not that it was particularly noisy, I just needed complete silence to be able to concentrate.

I managed to get my site built and my PHP contact form created by studying several contact forms online, one which I had used before and one in the book I had bought. What I did was to de-construct the contact forms to see what each part actually did. I then built a couple of very simple examples before starting my own form.

My contact form was designed to send emails to my designated email address, obviously, but also to validate the content of the name and email boxes to help stop spam in my inbox.

It only took me about half a day to build the contact form, but then took me about another two and a half days debugging it. One of the main problems was my mis-typing. I had made several errors, and with a new code that I’m not yet very familiar with it took me ages to find the problems, a few were actually found by my classmates as I just couldn’t see them.

I used the websites from my learning contract, but actually decided on a different book, ‘PHP and MySQL for Dynamic Web Sites’ which I had recommended by a couple of my classmates, and I was given a video tutorial course by Lynda.com by a friend about half way through the module.

As I agreed in my learning contract I also took the PHP quiz at w3schools.com, achieving a score of 10 out of 20 before I began studying and a score of 15 out of 20 after. This doesn’t sound too great a learning surve, however on my first attempt at the quiz I believe I only answered 4 or 5 correctly that I knew, the rest I had lucky/educated guesses. On my second attempt I felt I knew at least 12 to 14 of the answers, even from a relatively small amount of study for such a big subject.

I need to look at myself closely after this experience. Whilst I had some difficulties during my study of PHP it became clear that there were things I could have done to make things much easier for myself.

For example, I could have borrowed a little money for the book I needed, I’m sure one of my family would have helped me with that, and because the server software wouldn’t work, I could have bought some hosting on a server, I need some now anyway.

The overall experience was not a good one. I feel I was not helped by the problems I had early on in the module, but confounded things by becoming quite down and lost my chain of thought, both when studying and how to study at all. I put things off while waiting for resources, but if I had been thinking clearly there were ample resources available to be going on with until I got everything I required.

Progress Update

The simple fact is there isn’t much progress to speak of. I’ve done plenty of research on PHP and started watching online video tutorials from Lynda.com. The problem is I’m still waiting for my loans and grants to be able to buy the book I require, and to add insult to injury I cannot get the server software to work on my PC, so can’t actually try any examples unless I’m in class.

To be quite honest my confidence is really starting to wane and it’s beginning to get me down. I feel completely out on my own at the moment and I’m struggling to concentrate on anything at the moment.

I also need the software for another module we are doing at the minute and I am really starting to feel overwhelmed.

That being said, I believe the real problem is my attitude and state of mind right now. I’m sure there are things I could be doing, but just can’t seem to think straight, and time is rapidly passing me by.

If I don’t get a move on I fear I won’t have anything to hand in come deadline, a fact that is now causing even more stress.

Obviously I will soldier on, but need to think seriously about my situation, and how much I am causing the stress myself. And of course I must pull my finger out and get some work done.

Self Directed Learning

It’s the start of the second and final year,things are starting to get real, and one of our first modules is a self directed learning plan.

For my plan I’ve chosen introductory PHP 5.3.8 and MySQL databases, partly because we didn’t have much choice as we need to understand PHP for our WordPress module, but also because of its ease of use and functionality combined with HTML, apparently!

The first step in the process was to draw up our self learning contract, listing our proposed learning outcomes, the resources we would use, and the assessment criteria to show the level of information learned.

For my research I have chosen several websites with training courses and tutorials on PHP and will also buy a book to help with my studies.

Initially I plan to research the basic information on PHP and its uses, then before I actually start learning the actual code I will take the online quiz at w3schools website to estimate my current knowledge of PHP.

I will then work through my book and the online tutorials, following the examples provided, taking about 4-5 weeks, at which point I will retake the online quiz so as to measure my progress.

Then comes the acid test, building my own site and utilising the skills I have learned, allowing myself around 3-4 weeks for this process.

I need to push myself on this module, so I’ll be keeping time sheets and will keep you all updated as to my progress and set some accurate targets once I’ve gained a basic understanding of PHP.

My Thoughts on Year 1

Well here I am at the end of my first year on the course and I’ve enjoyed it immensely. It’s not been easy by any means, but I feel extremely proud that I’m still here and haven’t imploded altogether with the pressure.

If you’ve read my blogs you’ll know that I was struggling away on benefits before I started the course, due to illness. I tried to move back into work, selling websites, but had no training and had serious problems with virtually every site I sold.

I then started learning about search engine optimization (SEO) and Internet marketing, but realised I needed to learn much more about websites and the Internet. That’s when I found the course. It seemed just what I was looking for, obviously web design, but also design for many other types of media too. And even small units on marketing, branding and SEO, so I made the call.

When I first started I was very nervous, both with my anxiety, and of course I was completely new to all the software and skills I would be learning, not to mention a long time out of education. Once or twice through this first year I’ll admit I was a little overwhelmed and often felt like I was falling behind with my studies, only to find a few other students felt just the same.

However, I found I picked things up pretty quickly and in the first couple of months we had lots of helpful lectures on typography, design skills. And on our reflective learning skills for our personal and professional development using Kolb’s, Gibbs and John’s reflective learning systems. We were also introduced to Honey and Mumford, showing us what type of learner we are, and where we need to improve. In the first couple of months I think we really had our hands held, maybe to ease us into the course.

After Christmas though was whole different ball game. We had done several designs using InDesgn and even designed our first website. Now came the time to code the site to go on the web. Learning coding languages, the one thing that really frightened me. It wasn’t easy, I really had to concentrate and I’m still struggling, but I enjoyed it and was quite excited at the prospect of actually seeing my design up on the Internet.

At the same time we started learning PhotoShop, perhaps I should have been frightened of this more! It’s a massive program, I’m really only just starting to use some of it’s functions. To add to the pressure we were moving towards more self learning, we had two difficult units running at the same time, and were given all our digital imaging unit in one go, to finish for one big deadline instead of lots of smaller ones. I was beginning to struggle at this point.

I found myself starting to suffer with odd little illnesses. Maybe it was down to my stress or maybe a weak immune system because of all the all night working sessions to meet deadlines. Either way I got through it and feel stronger for it.

Looking at my work it’s obvious to see that my design skills have and are improving a great deal, which is the point of the course. With a greater understanding and knowledge of  the software I’m certain my designs will continue to improve once I know I have the capabilities to design and program what I want.

My use of the software, especially PhotoShop is becoming much more fluent, but still needs much more studying on my part, and as I said this will enable me to widen my scope of what I can design.

An area that really does require my attention is cascading Style Systems (CSS)2.1. I am still struggling with CSS and need to do lots of work on it. The obvious way is to design more websites.

A regret I do have from the first year is that I feel I could have applied myself much better to the work. I can use the excuse that I have a very stressful life at the moment, which I do. But so do others on the course, and I feel if I could manage my time better I could get much more out of the course, and a better mark at the end.

To improve on my first years performance I aim to build at least 2 or 3 websites over the summer to improve my CSS coding skills and I will start to learn PHP language. Perhaps just the basics, I would be happy if I could program a contact form by the end of summer. I feel this would allow me to go back to the course starting ahead of the game, instead of behind how I’ve felt many times this year.

For next year I need to plan my time much better. I’m hoping to be working part time by then which I feel will benefit me with less stress because of a lack of money, and because I will have less time I’ll have no option but to plan it better. I do have a tendency to produce better work when I’m under pressure, but if I could even do my basic designs and any research in good time this would cut down on my stress levels massively.

And finally, by doing this I will be able to make much more use of my classmates and former students to get feedback on my work. We have the forum and Google wave where my classmates, the second year students and even former students are happy to give their comments and suggestions. I must make better use of this, and of course give feedback to the new first years students.

Word Count: 973

Artist or Designer?

“Am I an artist or am I a designer?” I know what many of you are thinking, but don’t, this is a rhetorical question.

 

I suppose the first thing to ask myself is “what is an artist? and what is a designer?”. Both create images or objects which are hopefully pleasing to the eye.

 

The answer to this question I believe is down to motivation, “why is the artist painting?” and “why is the designer designing?”. An artist will paint, or sculpt perhaps, for pleasure, or possibly they have been commissioned to paint a portrait of somebody famous. But inevitably the function of the artwork is to please either the artist, or those viewing it. And the only function of the artwork is to evoke emotion or thought in the viewer. 

 Also, even if painting a portrait of someone or something specific, the artist is generally free to interpret how they want their work to look. And finally they start with nothing, just a blank canvas, no instructions or contents to follow. 

A designer on the other hand has a reason to design. The designer may be designing a website or an ad, but this has a specific function. He/she will probably be working from a fairly strict brief, with content that must be included and can only be interpreted in one way. And also their work generally has to conform to current trends and even fashion.  

“Good art inspires, good design motivates. Perhaps the most fundamental difference between art and design that we can all agree on is their purposes”.^[1] 

 

 So therefore, that would make me a designer. But wait, there are museums and galleries full of ‘art work’ created by designers, not artists. Museums full of clothes, old electrical equipment, film memorabilia. How may times will you visit a trendy restaurant to find old music hall posters or movie posters on the wall. You only have to look at a vintage Ferrari to see it’s beauty, and clearly it’s now a work of art.  

 

 Does that mean I’m also an artist? I really wouldn’t consider myself an artist. As far as I’m concerned I have little or no natural talent for drawing or sculpting. When it comes to generating ideas for designs I struggle greatly to come up with original and different work.

 

I am however learning and getting better at designing. Perhaps another major difference between artists and designers! A designer can be taught the principles of design, and with a little creativity can produce good pleasing designs. An artist is generally born with there talent.  

I would consider myself a designer, but would like to think in years to come I will produce work that someone deems worthy enough to be displayed in a gallery or museum. Once my work has fulfilled it’s purpose I would be thrilled to think others thought of it as art.  

Word count: 485 

1. O’Nolan, J. (21^st Sept), The Difference Between Art and Design, http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/09/the-difference-between-art-and-design/, Accessed on 18/04/10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Digital Imaging and Web Development 1

Last week was the deadline for 2 of our heaviest, for want of a better word, units to date. Digital Imaging and Web development 1.

Web development 1 is quite self explanatory, our first foray into actually building a website.

Digital Imaging was our first taste of using PhotoShop, one of the most integral tools for a web designer. And to add to that a new learning experience, instead of being given a task and a few ours or a week to complete it, we were given all our tasks together and it was up to us to plan our time for completing everything.

Web Development 1  

This was the part of the course liable to cause me the most anxiety, from the start it was the area I was most dreading and we had a new tutor ‘Jonny Haynes’, so I didn’t know what to expect.

On the first day we started with ‘Hypertext Markup Language’ [HTML], which actually turned out to be quite easy. Very straight forward and logical. I seemed to be a little slower than most in the class, but when we came to check our code to W3C standards I always seemed to have very few errors, and often the few errors I had were simple omissions or spelling mistakes.

When it came to the ‘Cascading Style Sheets’ [CSS], it started to get a little more complicated. Again I always seemed to be behind the rest of the class, but always caught up when it came to validating our code.

I struggled to start with, but gradually began to understand why I was doing what I was doing. My website was built, everything seemed to work as it should, and again all my code validated with the W3C standards website.

Although basic it is now on the Internet and working just as I designed it. I’m now really looking forward to the next site, and feel confident enough to design a more complicated site. Obviously I’m not an expert yet, but quickly learning you can find out how to do anything just by Googling it.

Digital Imaging  

After our Interface Design module and learning the basics of the InDesign software I wasn’t really worried about this unit. Unfortunately I found myself suffering from either a migraine or several migraine headaches, lasting approximately 3 weeks, I struggled to do any work at all. This put me so far behind and really knocked my confidence.

The second thing I was contending with was a 3GB download allowance on my Internet connection, I was frightened to download anything or even freely surf the net because I kept reaching my download allowance.

Between Sky not being able to fit me a line and going back to Virgin Media it took me almost a month to get a new Internet connection.

By this time I was falling so far behind with my work and beginning to panic. The Web development was simple, the design was done and we just had to learn how to code it. But for Digital Imaging we had to be creative and I was really struggling.

On top of that I had barely even looked at PhotoShop and couldn’t even carry out the simplest tasks to put my creative ideas into practise.

Eventually I got my new Internet connection, our seminar group had a tutorial on animation in PhotoShop from Steve, and I went into college one Wednesday morning when the second year students were in. I learned just a couple of tricks from the second years, they’re always so helpful, and spent most of the week watching tutorials online.

Finally I was putting my ideas into design on PhotoShop, if I got stuck I just watched a tutorial on You-Tube, everything fell into place. I even changed one of my designs at the last minute, my lack of confidence had completely gone.

 

However, I was still playing catch up, and as the deadline approached spent yet another weekend working through the night. With a 4pm deadline I set off from home at 3.30pm and just made it in time, but at what cost. Looking back at my work I can see so much more I could have done, if only I’d given myself more time.

Conclusion

Obviously I work better when given a task to do and a set time, but unfortunately that’s not how the design industry works. I can make excuses for getting behind, but they won’t help me in the industry.

Inevitably I should have foreseen most of my problems, not illness of course, and planned for them, then I wouldn’t need to put so much pressure on myself to meet my deadlines, and could produce much better work.

Word count: 796

Visit to Yorkshire Sculpture Park

It was a bitterly cold afternoon in February as we made our way in convoy to Yorkshire Sculpture Park. It was overcast and there was even a slight mist on the ground, so first stop, coffee.

Then in our pairs we set off to find our respective sculptures.

Mine were by Peter Randall-Page, an artist who has gained an international reputation through his sculpture, drawings and prints. He has undertaken many large scale commissions and exhibits in numerous private and public collections throughout the world.

 

He has work exhibited in Japan, South Korea, Australia, USA, Eire, Germany and the Netherlands. Also throughout the UK, including the Tate Gallery and the British Museum.^[1]

And yet here we were in the freezing wind and rain at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park.

The three sculptures we were asked to look at were ‘Flayed Stone’ II and III sculpted from granite in 1998 and ‘Sum of the Parts’ sculpted from granite in 2001.

To be quite honest I don’t have much of an idea about art, I’m a real Philistine. So when asked to write down how the sculptures made us feel I felt way out of my depth.

‘Sum of the Parts’ seemed like the shell of a turtle and on such a cold day was very cold and rough to the touch. But after studying it for quite a while I started to see and feel something more to the sculpture.

It seemed to have an egg or pod like quality and even though it was cold to the touch it looked warm. It almost felt as though it was protecting a new life with it’s tough exterior, and made me think of new life.

‘Flayed Stone’ II and III were a little larger and carved with continuous lines. Even though they were carved out of granite and rough to the touch, to look at them I felt they would be smooth.

I followed the lines carved into them, but they were never ending, no beginning and no end, as if carved by God himself. It was as if they had been there forever.

I don’t know exactly what feelings the sculptures were meant to provoke, if any, but even with the simplicity of the designs they were so much more than odd shaped lumps of rock, my initial thought.

[1] http://www.peterrandall-page.com/about/intro.html

Word count: 395 

 

 

 

The Summer of all Fears

It’s not quite a month since we came back to college from our Christmas break, too early you might say to be thinking about our summer break.

The Christmas break was nearly a month long and I found myself slipping back into old habits very quickly. Lying in bed until midday and then just watching tv for the rest of the day, hardly venturing out of the door.

Towards the end of the holiday I found myself starting to feel the onset of my anxiety once again, albeit very mild. The butterflies in the stomach were there none the less!

We have a couple of short breaks, a week, and then a fortnight break in the next few months, but in just over 3 months we break up for summer, a break lasting almost 5 months.

I know in previous blogs I’ve spoken about my plans for my long term future, but I also need to address my short term plans as well, after all what chance do my long term plans have if I can’t complete the course due to illness.

There are several issues I need to think about:

• The need to earn money to pay bills and make my second year less stressful.
• The importance of keeping my routine that I have obviously benefitted from over the first term.
• And of course the information is coming thick and fast at the moment, how much would I retain doing nothing course related for nearly 5 months?

My ideal scenario was to have 4 to 6 small websites to design over summer, and spend the break at my brothers apartments in Spain to complete them. Just venturing home to collect money and visit my 2 boys, maybe taking them back with me for a holiday.

This could be quite achievable, but how much do I trust myself to stick to a routine and complete the tasks in hand. Or do I start looking round now and find a little design company where I can spend the summer working in a professional environment, and of course have no choice but to follow a routine.

I know which I’d prefer to do, and I do have a tendency to work better when in Spain (it’s an extremely stress free environment), but I would welcome any advice anyone would like to offer on this subject.

Word Count: 399

Where did it all go right?

For my latest entry I was given the remit of finding a critical incident in my learning on the program so far, a point when it all seemed to make sense to me, ‘oh dear’ I thought.

Hard as I tried I just couldn’t pinpoint any one particular incident or time when everything just seemed to become clear, about the course that is. Although the same can also be said of my life.

However, over the Christmas holidays we were given only one piece of work to do, to read one of two books on HTML and CSS, not both books, only one. I had one already ‘HTML Dog’, so this was the obvious choice for me.

So Christmas came and went, and during a quiet moment I sat down and started reading the book. The introduction was hard enough, but once I got to the main content, well suffice to say it was all Geek to me (no that’s not a spelling mistake, it’s a computer coding book). I thought maybe I was tired or something, but upon trying several times again, nothing was going in. I got four chapters in, but couldn’t tell you what I’d read in the previous sentence, let alone the rest of the book.

Imagine my anxiety coming to our first lesson on coding websites, which started on Tuesday 12th January, and with a new instructor.

We started with a lecture on HTML, still none the wiser, but then we started to do some tutorials from the book and for some reason everything suddenly became clear. People around me were asking questions about the tasks and I was answering them; correctly. Steve, our usual tutor came into the room and asked me a string of questions and everyone was correct.

I simply understood what was going on. To the point that when we were asked to code some basic website designs in HTML I was nervous about what I was typing, because I thought it should have been more difficult than it actually was.

Apparently the HTML part of coding is quite easy, and CSS is more challenging, but just being able to understand the HTML gave me so much confidence. I felt quite elated. And now I’m looking forward to the CSS part of the program with relish.

Bring it on.

Word Count: 395

So far, so good?

 

Well, we’re a quarter of the way through the course, and just started again after the Christmas break. This might sound unlikely, but I’m looking forward to getting back into my work.

The workload so far has been hard, apart from the first module. Since then we always seem to have plenty to do and lots going on at the same time. I don’t think the workloads too much, I’m just coming from a point of view of not doing any work like this for a long long time.

I’ve virtually filled one notebook already, only half a douzen pages to go. But just going through my almost full notebook and I realise the vast amount of information that it now contains, much of which is lodged somewhere within my brain.

As I’ve said in my previous blog I feel like I have some direction in my future now, but if has still been a very emotional time. Sometimes I’ve felt so overwhelmed with the work I’ve had to do. Maybe not realising that I have been given the knowledge to do the work. And combine that with the deadlines, time just seems to go so fast, then the real panic sets in. I think whats still a problem with me is a lack of confidence, my classmaters might disagree, but when it comes to using the software and actually designing I still find it very daunting.

However, looking back over my work in the first quarter of the course, I am starting to see much improvement in my own work. Not to say I’m a great designer now and I can sit back, but I can see and feel a marked improvement in my work. Also, even after only a little use of the design software, I feel so much more comfortable using it and instaed of just asking for help I’m starting to find the solutions for myself.

Obviously it now helps that I have the software I need at home, but towards the end of the Autum term one of my projects was to design a ‘Type Trump’ card, a variation based on the game of ‘Top Trumps’, but using typefaces. *

A simple little thing like making the corners of my design round, instead of asking I looked at the software and found a corners function. It may sound simple, but often a lack of confidence will stop most people even looking.

I still feel I am capable of much better work if I can concentrate properly. After my typography exam I felt very confident, until we all started to talk about the questions and I realised I had made a few basic errors, that I knew and should have got correct. Not a big problem, but I just want to do the best I can.

Another example of this was a design for a coke bottle label, which I quite liked the design of, but couldn’t use it because due to not checking properly I had not set my letters to the correct colour specified, I was so angry with myself, I felt as though I had wasted my time because I could not submit the design.

The answer to this seems very easy, concentrate more, and spend more time on my studies. But it’s not quite that simple. I find myself struggling to concentrate sometimes, maybe because of my situation or maybe I just need to learn how to concentrate on my work and blank everything else out. I think the latter is the more likely.

I feel I put quite a lot of study time in, maybe not enough on some subjects, but need the study I do to count for more. Put simply I need to concentrate on what I’m doing and make sure it’s my priority. This should be much easier anyway this term as many of my previous problems have been sorted outand I already feel much more focused.

The next step now is to put these thoughts into action. I feel I need to make much more use of my notes, more use of the internet (ie, Twitter and the College Forum) and get as much design work as possible, be it for college or even work for myself. I have already downloaded some software to help me achieve this and already started to use it more.

 Word Count: 730

 

Where I am going

As I said in my last entry, I feel much more positive about my life now. I can focus and plan for my future, which I have been seriously considering over the past couple of months.

Before I joined the course, I was looking at becoming an internet marketeer, and specialising in search engine optimization (SEO). However, since joining the web design course it’s becoming clearer to me that I may not want to specialise in this field.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I recently spent a full day at an ‘Online Social Networking Seminar’, provided by Business Link Yorkshire, and a meeting with Bancmedia.com, an SEO company from Manchester. Both meetings were extremely interesting, and I believe any serious web designer must have an expert knowledge of these areas, and be able to utilise these techniques when preparing a website.

My plans for the future are now beginning to pan out a little differently. I have 2 or 3 ideas for online businesses. I will use the skills and knowledge I learn on the course, to build my own websites and set up my businesses. I would also like to approach new, up-and-coming companies, perhaps through Business Link, and offer my services and skills on a basis of accepting share or stock options from companies, if they cannot afford to pay my charges. Obviously with both of these plans I am looking at creating a residual income, gradually growing larger and larger as the success of the companies increases. In other words, the better the job I do, the more money I will earn.

It is also becoming clear that to keep on top of the industry, a designer must be designing and building websites on a regular basis, as it is an ever changing industry. I would therefore initially design and build websites for companies as a freelance designer, or possibly even create a small design agency, building up my portfolio.

Perhaps a good place to start my business would be somewhere like the Barnsley Digital Media Centre (Barnsley DMC), a new purpose-built centre for start-up companies or individuals, working specifically within the digital media industry. I attended an event there recently, and was introduced to the director of the centre, who offered help with any future projects we may have on our course. 

In the short term I will have to start working part-time to help fund my studies, initially maybe as an account manager for a web design agency, or an SEO company. But inevitably once I have attained enough knowledge, the obvious choice would be to design and build websites for small companies myself, and learn as I earn.

The main point here is the difference I feel within myself, in such a short period of time since starting the course. From literally not being able to plan or see past the end of the month, to having solid plans for the next 5 to 10 years, although they are not set in stone.

Word Count: 499

Where I am now

Well here I am, a couple of months into the course, and still here. This might sound a little negative, but it’s been a bit of a roller-coaster ride so far.

Once I started the course, I soon noticed a pattern forming. While in college I was absolutely fine, none of my previous problems or symptoms was present. However, come Wednesday mornings, I found myself full of anxiety once more. Maybe not as bad as previously, but in big contrast to my Mondays and Tuesdays at college.

I have found this seriously interferes with my self study time, making it extremely difficult to concentrate, although it is gradually getting better as I sort out problems from my day to day life. Especially as I have now at least received the first part of my student loan.

Until now, I have not been able move ahead with planning for my course, not even being able to buy ink or paper for my printer, let alone books and software that in desperately need. But now I can really start to plan properly.

Having recently received our marks from the first assignment we submitted, I was very pleasantly surprised. Although I put in lots of hours, possibly more than required, I didn’t feel I had gone into enough depth in my report. I could make excuses that the word count was too low, or I had not done enough interviews, but in the end neither of these factors would have bothered me if my thinking was clearer.

I did however cover the information that was required, which I believe is why my mark was better than I expected. Don’t get me wrong, it was only a mid range mark, but I think it showed me how much more I was capable of, when I can apply myself in the future.

A recent exercise we did from Honey and Mumford’s ‘The Learning Styles Questionnaire’, showed me to be a theorist for study purposes, which I would completely agree with, but showed a very low ranking as an activist. This shows me that I need to work on this area of my character, something which if I am honest with myself, I already knew.

The web design course itself is obviously the perfect choice for me. I am so happy and calm on the course, and feel very comfortable with the people around me, and can start to look and plan clearly into the future.

There’s still lots to be done though, reading articles from web professionals such as Andy Rutledge, it becomes clear that not only do we need to keep abreast of new developments once in the industry, we need to adopt this attitude now, and take responsibility for ourselves. The course will teach us design principles and how to code a website, but there is so much more needed to be industry ready.

More recently we have started using software and learning these basic design principles. This is so new to me. I have designed business cards and flyers in the past, but with only a simple knowledge from a few lessons, I can already see how much better my designs could have looked. Being shown how to design a grid, and how to use the proximity, alignment, repetition, contrast, (PARC) principles just make things so much clearer, and I have already found them useful tools on a practical level.

Hopefully I am taking responsibility for my own education, recently spending the day at an ‘Online Social Networking’ seminar provided by Business Link, and a morning spent with a search engine optimisation (SEO) company, in Manchester.

To re-iterate, I feel the course is ideal for me, helping me focus for the future, and hence alleviating much of my stress. Whilst the stress is still there, it is gradually diminishing with time. I am learning new skills, and actually using them, which is giving me back a feeling of self worth.

I apologise if my journals so far have tended to sound a little negative, but that is not the intention, and I am looking forward with some excitement to my next entry, to be able to show you my feelings towards my future, which are now extremely positive.

Word Count: 712

Where I have come from

Most of my life has been spent in sales, initially in retail, then direct sales, apart from a short diversion as a fire proofer in London for about 6 months.

After being quite successful in sales, but getting little recognition or loyalty from employers, I decided to start my own business selling mobile phones. I was still quite young, and didn’t really know what I was doing, but quickly learnt what worked and why, and what didn’t work. The business became very successful, at it’s height I had 2 shops.

But I eventually went bankrupt, mainly due to my marriage break up, I had another couple of sales jobs, but could never really settle in anywhere. After a break up with a long-term girlfriend, then losing my job I found myself suffering from depression and anxiety, and ended up on benefits.

Slipping deeper into depression and anxiety, I lost my home, because housing benefit would not pay my full rent, I ended up living back at home with my mother, and was stopped from seeing my 2 children for around seven and a half months, I was very, very low.

I became totally immersed in the benefits state, like a child, relying on someone else to look after me, and could see no way out of this situation, a situation that lasted quite a few years.

Eventually I got another flat and worked with an NLP practitioner on my goals in life, and what I wanted. I finally started to feel much better, and even started to work a little under a government scheme as a self-employed website salesman, only to be knocked off the sick, and therefore my work had to stop.

Once again I became so low, feeling so frustrated, and thinking I would never be able to get off benefits, reinforcing the fact that I was like a child, totally reliant on the system, a completely flawed system.

At the same time as selling websites I had been learning about search engine optimisation (SEO), but I decided I needed to learn much more about websites. Towards the end of July this year, I saw a copy of Wakefield College prospectus, and noticed the FdA Web Design course, and phoned up to enquire.

I went for an interview with the tutor, initially just to see what the course was about, but after the first 5 minutes of the meeting I could tell the course was suitable for me. The tutor asked me to do a little project, to show my level of creativity, a project I loved doing, as it focused my mind on other things than my situation. I found out I would have to come off my benefits (for a second that worried me, then I actually thought about it), and I was accepted on the course, I felt so elated, like I now had a chance for a future.

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