Where I am going

As I said in my last entry, I feel much more positive about my life now. I can focus and plan for my future, which I have been seriously considering over the past couple of months.

Before I joined the course, I was looking at becoming an internet marketeer, and specialising in search engine optimization (SEO). However, since joining the web design course it’s becoming clearer to me that I may not want to specialise in this field.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I recently spent a full day at an ‘Online Social Networking Seminar’, provided by Business Link Yorkshire, and a meeting with Bancmedia.com, an SEO company from Manchester. Both meetings were extremely interesting, and I believe any serious web designer must have an expert knowledge of these areas, and be able to utilise these techniques when preparing a website.

My plans for the future are now beginning to pan out a little differently. I have 2 or 3 ideas for online businesses. I will use the skills and knowledge I learn on the course, to build my own websites and set up my businesses. I would also like to approach new, up-and-coming companies, perhaps through Business Link, and offer my services and skills on a basis of accepting share or stock options from companies, if they cannot afford to pay my charges. Obviously with both of these plans I am looking at creating a residual income, gradually growing larger and larger as the success of the companies increases. In other words, the better the job I do, the more money I will earn.

It is also becoming clear that to keep on top of the industry, a designer must be designing and building websites on a regular basis, as it is an ever changing industry. I would therefore initially design and build websites for companies as a freelance designer, or possibly even create a small design agency, building up my portfolio.

Perhaps a good place to start my business would be somewhere like the Barnsley Digital Media Centre (Barnsley DMC), a new purpose-built centre for start-up companies or individuals, working specifically within the digital media industry. I attended an event there recently, and was introduced to the director of the centre, who offered help with any future projects we may have on our course. 

In the short term I will have to start working part-time to help fund my studies, initially maybe as an account manager for a web design agency, or an SEO company. But inevitably once I have attained enough knowledge, the obvious choice would be to design and build websites for small companies myself, and learn as I earn.

The main point here is the difference I feel within myself, in such a short period of time since starting the course. From literally not being able to plan or see past the end of the month, to having solid plans for the next 5 to 10 years, although they are not set in stone.

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Where I am now

Well here I am, a couple of months into the course, and still here. This might sound a little negative, but it’s been a bit of a roller-coaster ride so far.

Once I started the course, I soon noticed a pattern forming. While in college I was absolutely fine, none of my previous problems or symptoms was present. However, come Wednesday mornings, I found myself full of anxiety once more. Maybe not as bad as previously, but in big contrast to my Mondays and Tuesdays at college.

I have found this seriously interferes with my self study time, making it extremely difficult to concentrate, although it is gradually getting better as I sort out problems from my day to day life. Especially as I have now at least received the first part of my student loan.

Until now, I have not been able move ahead with planning for my course, not even being able to buy ink or paper for my printer, let alone books and software that in desperately need. But now I can really start to plan properly.

Having recently received our marks from the first assignment we submitted, I was very pleasantly surprised. Although I put in lots of hours, possibly more than required, I didn’t feel I had gone into enough depth in my report. I could make excuses that the word count was too low, or I had not done enough interviews, but in the end neither of these factors would have bothered me if my thinking was clearer.

I did however cover the information that was required, which I believe is why my mark was better than I expected. Don’t get me wrong, it was only a mid range mark, but I think it showed me how much more I was capable of, when I can apply myself in the future.

A recent exercise we did from Honey and Mumford’s ‘The Learning Styles Questionnaire’, showed me to be a theorist for study purposes, which I would completely agree with, but showed a very low ranking as an activist. This shows me that I need to work on this area of my character, something which if I am honest with myself, I already knew.

The web design course itself is obviously the perfect choice for me. I am so happy and calm on the course, and feel very comfortable with the people around me, and can start to look and plan clearly into the future.

There’s still lots to be done though, reading articles from web professionals such as Andy Rutledge, it becomes clear that not only do we need to keep abreast of new developments once in the industry, we need to adopt this attitude now, and take responsibility for ourselves. The course will teach us design principles and how to code a website, but there is so much more needed to be industry ready.

More recently we have started using software and learning these basic design principles. This is so new to me. I have designed business cards and flyers in the past, but with only a simple knowledge from a few lessons, I can already see how much better my designs could have looked. Being shown how to design a grid, and how to use the proximity, alignment, repetition, contrast, (PARC) principles just make things so much clearer, and I have already found them useful tools on a practical level.

Hopefully I am taking responsibility for my own education, recently spending the day at an ‘Online Social Networking’ seminar provided by Business Link, and a morning spent with a search engine optimisation (SEO) company, in Manchester.

To re-iterate, I feel the course is ideal for me, helping me focus for the future, and hence alleviating much of my stress. Whilst the stress is still there, it is gradually diminishing with time. I am learning new skills, and actually using them, which is giving me back a feeling of self worth.

I apologise if my journals so far have tended to sound a little negative, but that is not the intention, and I am looking forward with some excitement to my next entry, to be able to show you my feelings towards my future, which are now extremely positive.

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Where I have come from

Most of my life has been spent in sales, initially in retail, then direct sales, apart from a short diversion as a fire proofer in London for about 6 months.

After being quite successful in sales, but getting little recognition or loyalty from employers, I decided to start my own business selling mobile phones. I was still quite young, and didn’t really know what I was doing, but quickly learnt what worked and why, and what didn’t work. The business became very successful, at it’s height I had 2 shops.

But I eventually went bankrupt, mainly due to my marriage break up, I had another couple of sales jobs, but could never really settle in anywhere. After a break up with a long-term girlfriend, then losing my job I found myself suffering from depression and anxiety, and ended up on benefits.

Slipping deeper into depression and anxiety, I lost my home, because housing benefit would not pay my full rent, I ended up living back at home with my mother, and was stopped from seeing my 2 children for around seven and a half months, I was very, very low.

I became totally immersed in the benefits state, like a child, relying on someone else to look after me, and could see no way out of this situation, a situation that lasted quite a few years.

Eventually I got another flat and worked with an NLP practitioner on my goals in life, and what I wanted. I finally started to feel much better, and even started to work a little under a government scheme as a self-employed website salesman, only to be knocked off the sick, and therefore my work had to stop.

Once again I became so low, feeling so frustrated, and thinking I would never be able to get off benefits, reinforcing the fact that I was like a child, totally reliant on the system, a completely flawed system.

At the same time as selling websites I had been learning about search engine optimisation (SEO), but I decided I needed to learn much more about websites. Towards the end of July this year, I saw a copy of Wakefield College prospectus, and noticed the FdA Web Design course, and phoned up to enquire.

I went for an interview with the tutor, initially just to see what the course was about, but after the first 5 minutes of the meeting I could tell the course was suitable for me. The tutor asked me to do a little project, to show my level of creativity, a project I loved doing, as it focused my mind on other things than my situation. I found out I would have to come off my benefits (for a second that worried me, then I actually thought about it), and I was accepted on the course, I felt so elated, like I now had a chance for a future.

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